When my weekly missive from the desk of Gwyneth Paltrow softly fluttered into my inbox this morning on a cloud of lavender-scented bedlinen mist, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Does anyone remember when goop used to have fun Asian-inspired recipes and pictures of obscenely expensive clothing for the children I don’t have?” You know–the good old days of 2009?
These days it’s all cleanses and advice on small business ownership. Gwyneth: I come to you for glamorous, condescending, utterly useless advice that I could not otherwise access in the Self Help section of the Lincoln Park Branch Chicago Public Library (which STILL will not issue me a library card EVEN THOUGH I’M A MODEL CITIZEN.)
I can only hope that next week’s goop will contain sensible, insider wisdom on an every-woman topic, such as “How to Interview Multilingual Child Life Specialists” or “Backless Gowns: the New Hoodie.”
The Accidental Chicagoan 